Joy Comes in the Morning

I have a confession.

I care way too much about how I look sometimes. I always have. When I was younger, I hated being in cars with the windows down because it messed up my hair. I remember once in the 8th grade, I broke a hand mirror in my bathroom because my hair wasn’t “cooperating”. Girl. Why did I do that? Why did I care so much? At the end of the day, did it really matter?

I have no idea when I became so obsessed with the world of beauty. My mother and older sisters are natural beauties…they hardly ever wear makeup or obsess about their looks. I don’t remember them teaching me about makeup or how to take care of my skin or even taking me shopping for beauty products. Yet there I was using retinol, sunscreen and eye cream at age 13 or 14. I believe my favorite magazine, Allure, had a hand in those decisions.

I’ve grown up a lot since then but I still have a high standard for myself when it comes to my looks. Maybe it’s because of my personality. I like everything in my life to be perfect, clean and organized. I like to have control over things and see them through to their perfect end. This mentality definitely carries through to my physical appearance.

I rarely leave the house without my hair and makeup done. I’m not talking a full smokey eye or anything, but a minimal makeup routine for me includes: foundation, concealer, blush, mascara and brows. I don’t think there is anything wrong with caring about how you look, but it can take a corner real fast into a place you don’t want to go. A place where you believe you have to look a certain way to be accepted by others.

But that is a topic for another time.

Physical beauty and the pursuit of perfection has been a difficult thing to let go of, I’ll admit. But I’m not the only one.

Our world is obsessed with physical beauty. Why? How is beauty defined? Let’s take a look:

1. the quality or qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit
2. a particularly graceful, ornamental or excellent quality
3. an outstanding example

I love the last definition….an outstanding example. I’ve never really thought of beauty in that way, but I like it. It makes me wonder…is my inner beauty an outstanding example? And just how much time, in comparison to my outward beauty, am I spending on perfecting that?

The Bible tells us in 1 Peter 3:3-6: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

The Bible also tells us in Psalm 139:13,14, “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

I love these verses. I have heard them several times and read them over and over in my life. So why do I continue to struggle with this need for physical perfection when God so clearly cares about my inner beauty more?

Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Beauty is fleeting. This is so true.

What does fearing the Lord have to do with fleeting beauty? What does it mean to fear the Lord? I didn’t really understand what it meant until a few years ago. Fearing the Lord isn’t being afraid of Him, it’s respecting Him and giving Him the proper place in all aspects of your life.

I knew I wanted to change. To not care so much. But how could I begin to undo years of this kind of thinking? The connection between fleeting beauty and fearing the Lord in this passage is what gave me my first dose of perspective. When your looks have faded, what will you have left? Which is more eternal? The praise we receive now for our physical beauty or the glory we will share with the Lord for our humility?

I’m not quite sure when the light bulb came on in my head, but I remember praying and asking God to give me a hunger for His Word. What could this possibly have to do with beauty, right? I think I ran to God out of sheer exhaustion and was finally willing to give up this burden I had been carrying for physical perfection. I knew that by spending time with Him and soaking in His truth, He would give me the proper perspective I desperately wanted and needed. I remember making an effort to spend more and more time in God’s Word whenever I could. I put aside Facebook and Pinterest for 30 days to motivate myself to pursue this desire.

I took my Bible to work and read it whenever I didn’t have a client on the books. Spas are pretty peaceful environments anyway, but the peace of God was in me more than I had ever experienced before. I was still physically presentable in my field, but my motivation, desire and attention were now focused more on the inside.

1 Samuel 16:7 says, ” Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” This is very comforting to know that God looks within and sees the potential in my heart. We can’t neglect our hearts! God is looking there for a place to dwell and flourish. A place to reveal His beauty in us.

My focus now has become less about achieving physical perfection and more about spending time with the Lord, which makes me feel beautiful on the inside. I still enjoy the ritual of taking care of myself, but whenever I am feeling frustrated and need some perspective, I read Hebrews 12:1-3:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him,endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

I’m not a runner…at all. But this is a race I want to finish and finish well. Jesus is the author and perfecter of my faith! My faith and my life matter a great deal to Him. He wants my eyes to be fixed on Him-not on myself. Focusing on myself has caused me to grow weary and lose heart sometimes. I find that the more time I spend with God, in prayer and reading His Word, the more beautiful I feel. I feel He is perfecting my faith with kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These things are beautiful and should never be in short supply.

So, do I care how I look? Yes, I do. I probably always will a little. But I’m allowing Jesus to perfect things in me I could never perfect on my own. And that’s way more important.

Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith! What is He perfecting in you right now?